Today is a special day, and you all know why. No, not because of Hallowe’en, which although it most definitely is, I’m not referring to that; but because today is the day stores begin their dismantling of autumn merchandizing in favour of – gasp – Christmas décor. Yes, my friends, if it’s not annoying enough our local Christmas parade is in just two weeks, retail outlets jump the gun even earlier, in hopes of igniting our wallets, er … nostalgia.
The whole winter season is pleasant for me, what with having three children ages five and under. The Christmas spirit you lose in the dark depths of adult reality surfaces for breath once again when you have tiny footfalls to hurry downstairs on Christmas morn.
At the Cosford home, we tend to record our television shows on the PVR and watch them later when time allows. Mommy and Daddy prefer to fast forward past annoying commercials to get to the meat of Modern Family, Survivor or Big-Bang Theory. However, you best sleep with one eye open should you fast-forward the kids’ commercials, with the veritable trove of toys firing across the screen. Heaven forbid they miss the chance to exclaim, “Daddy, I want that!” every 30 seconds for anything other than a granola bar. The standard reply, of course, is “ask Santa.”
But I should get to be able to ask Santa for what I wish, even if what I want is absolutely absurd to my children, even if they could understand what the heck I’m talking about, and even if I don’t believe in Santa. Here’s what I would ask for:
•One standard for hydraulic fittings. I don’t care if it’s JIC, SAE O-Ring Boss, metric or BSPP (but not NPT), but can’t we just agree on one? The time and money involved with finding alternatives or solutions to the non-standardized plumbing situation in the world of fluid power is mind- boggling.
•The criminalization of any filter worse than 3 micron Beta 1000. I’d love for anyone to show me a hydraulic system which suffered from too clean oil. If the industry standard was 3 microns at 99.9% efficiency, the hydraulic machines of the planet would be more reliable, and the cost to make them so would drop significantly due to the unlimited selection of filter manufacturers competing for the same business.
•Peace on Earth, and re-glorification of blue-collar jobs. Let’s face it, filling the emptying seats of this industry isn’t getting any easier, mostly because it’s simply no longer “epic” to hold down a factory job. I suppose if the day returns when you can be paid $50/hour to screw in dashboards for one of the Big Three, it will come full circle. Until then, electricians and nurses will get the glory.
•Automation Studio. It looks like some awesome software, but at $8G’s capital and $2,000/year for the license, it’s just as far out of the budget as an iPad is for my kids.
•A Ferrari 458 Italia … c’mon, did you think this would be all hydraulics?